Sometimes it's hard to be happy. 
And still, it's the most important thing to aim for. 
Sometimes it just kills me inside to smile, 
But I do it anyway. 
Because if I say it to myself enough times 
Then it just might come true. 
Sometimes it seems almost impossible 
To find the silver lining and hold on to the scraps of happiness. 
It's damn hard to be good and polite and acceptable... 
It's quite impossible to laugh at all the jokes, 
To love every person at every moment... 
And still... Who would I be if I didn't even try? 
I have to be the best I can. 
Who I really am is just a whole lot weaker and crabbier 
Than the person I'm trying to become. 
And you know what? 
It might not get any easier, but it does become a part of you. 
It's hard as hell to be perfect and I might fail miserably, 
But I have to try. 
Sometimes I think I'm just a lot better 
At dealing with other people's temper tantrums. 
I have become an unbelievable master when it comes to 
Dealing with people who are angry at me or angry at the world. 
Some day I might just choke on all those words I never say. 
Or then again, the good person I'm trying to be 
Would just forget all about them and never say a thing. 
Who knows? 
I might just be fooling myself and everyone else. 
The only thing that is absolutely, unquestionably true 
Is my eternal love for you. 
I might be angry and desperate and unbearable, 
But I love you and I'm trying to be better. 
For you.